A surprise with goats
Edgar is a bit shy and when it comes to meet a girl he stumbles like a misaligned typewriter. Now wonder he is still single at 36. But things are about to change. The surprise is that he doesn’t know what is about to hit him square in the face. Not literally. Things do that from time to time.
That morning his regular milk bar is closed and he goes down the road to the nearest shop. It happens to be where Ingrid works. Ingrid is new here. She comes from Norway. She lives at her uncles farm. And from time to time she helps out at that shop where Edgar is just about to buy a sandwich. There is nothing strange about it. He orders almost on autopilot: “A tomato, ham, cheese sandwich, thanks.”
Click
Edgar’s typewriter in his head starts to mix up the letters as soon as he looks into Ingrids eyes. “Gwanks” he says. “I beg your pardon?” Ingrid replies, slightly bemused. “Oh, I mink thangles!” Edgar straight away makes the best impersonation of an overripe tomato. He utters a few more incomprehensible words, grabs the sandwich and makes a beeline for the exit.
Back at the office Edgar is a little bit useless. He is mildly distracted. He thinks about that beautiful woman in the shop. He wants to meet her again. But not with this scrabbles games on a rollercoaster in his head. That’s not going to work. You see, Edgar is not a bad wordsmith. It’s just when he meets the opposite sex, he’s wordsmithing with a rubber hammer.
He writes a few nice lines on a neat piece of paper and hands it to the lady next time they see each other. He doesn’t say much. He doesn’t need to, the words do their magic. In short he is inviting Ingrid for dinner. She says yes.
A few days later, the date night, Edgar prepares himself. He leaves nothing to chance. His suit, the tie, immaculate. He even rehearsed a bunch of lines and a few topics he is comfortable with. “Just in case” he says. Now all he has to do is to pick up Ingrid. On the way there he picks the loveliest roses from the flower shop at the corner. Edgar really wants to make an impression tonight.
He shows up in time, with the suit straight and the flowers at hand, Edgar walks up to Ingrids house. He knocks on the door and hides the roses behind his back. It should be a surprise. Ingrid opens the door. Edgar doesn’t need to say anything. I couldn’t anyway. All he needs to do is to present the stems of roses.
Hang on. Stems of roses? That’s not in the script. Where are the roses?
Ingrid bursts out laughing. With that sweet Norwegian laugh that is wide and sincere, Edgar is lost for words. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the right order or not, words just fail him right now. “It’s the kids” Ingrid laughs. “They eat flowers” she continues. “Lovely stems”. It”s only then when Edgar realises what just had happened. The goat kids came up from behind and ate the roses.
What a surprise.
Edgar and Ingrid are still laughing about that day. That is now 25 years ago. Edgar and Ingrid are married and life on the farm with lots of kids. Every anniversary Edgar buys a trailer load of roses for the goats. After all it is thanks to them that he speaks as well as he writes.
The end
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